We all know a friend or loved one who needs to make some changes in their life. We have often tried to offer this person advice and tough love, feeling powerless as they head down a road to self-destruction. We have often heard that we can’t change other people, but it is too difficult to […]Read more "Facilitating Change"
When leaving the military, many veterans feel they are leaving more than just a job. They are leaving a vocation, a family, and a mission. They are leaving a way of life based on shared experiences, shared purpose, and a bond built on trusting others with your life. Even among those who have not deployed, the […]Read more "Military Identity, Civilian Isolation"
When talking to someone about change, the key is to help them connect to their own reasons to change. As described in the previous post, “Why before How“, the more we can connect to our reasons for making a change, the more likely we are to follow through with our plan. It sounds simple, but […]Read more "Connecting to Core Needs"
When having a conversation about change, there are many tools one can use to connect and engage, but if the goal is to unlock change, you need to remember the key: getting the other person to state their own reasons for change. This is referred to as “change talk,” by Miller and Rollnick in their practice […]Read more "Helping People Change"
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” —Friedrich Nietzsche Those seeking change look toward the mountain ahead, ambivalent to whether or not they should make the trek. They want to get to the top, but are comfortable and safe. Torn between these two competing desires, one may seek out professional […]Read more "“Why” before “How”"
“It isn’t normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.” ― Abraham H. Maslow Ask any Armed Forces member about their purpose. You will likely get a clear and certain response: operational readiness, mission completion, and keeping one another alive. This clarity is pervasive in the military, yet it […]Read more "Finding Purpose in Civilian Life"
We now carry our social worlds in our pocket. Our friend-lists are paper-trails of past acquaintances, giving us a little window to voyeuristically peer into their lives, casually connect, or rekindle a friendship. Paradoxically, we can be alone, yet profoundly connected. Like Riesman’s (2001) “lonely crowd,” we are perpetually other-directed, scanning and finger-scrolling screens, searching […]Read more "Social Media Addiction"