Connecting to Core Needs

When talking to someone about change, the key is to help them connect to their own reasons to change. As described in the previous post, “Why before How“, the more we can connect to our reasons for making a change, the more likely we are to follow through with our plan. It sounds simple, but […]

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Helping People Change

When having a conversation about change, there are many tools one can use to connect and engage, but if the goal is to unlock change, you need to remember the key: getting the other person to state their own reasons for change. This is referred to as “change talk,” by Miller and Rollnick in their practice […]

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“Why” before “How”

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” —Friedrich Nietzsche Those seeking change look toward the mountain ahead, ambivalent to whether or not they should make the trek. They want to get to the top, but are comfortable and safe. Torn between these two competing desires, one may seek out professional […]

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Finding Purpose in Civilian Life

“It isn’t normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.” ― Abraham H. Maslow Ask any Armed Forces member about their purpose. You will likely get a clear and certain response: operational readiness, mission completion, and keeping one another alive. This clarity is pervasive in the military, yet it […]

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Social Media Addiction

We now carry our social worlds in our pocket. Our friend-lists are paper-trails of past acquaintances, giving us a little window to voyeuristically peer into their lives, casually connect, or rekindle a friendship. Paradoxically, we can be alone, yet profoundly connected. Like Riesman’s (2001) “lonely crowd,” we are perpetually other-directed, scanning and finger-scrolling screens, searching […]

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Grinding the Blade

The following is a piece written by a Veteran who prefers to remain anonymous. If this resonates with you, please share your experience below. I need to compete. I need the eyes of judgement and assessment on me holding me accountable. I need the struggle and hardship of pushing myself to be better, mentally and […]

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